I Write Sins Not Tragedies
by emmarey
Summary: Grantaire hates Enjolras. No, really, he definitely does, and no one - absolutely no one! - can convince him otherwise. (Okay, maybe he doesn't hate him.) (But he definitely hates Neo and Aspen.)000


*Grantaire's P.O.V.*

It was September 1st when I had to meet with those IDIOTS again. But, it was also my chance to see HIM again too. I was absolutely dreading it. His stupid perfect gold locks and stupid perfect chiseled face...god how I despise him. Don't even get me started on the other idiots I seem to surround myself with. I hate those oxygen thieving melodramatic fucking posers.

I was alone in my very own compartment. Peace. Sweet, sweet peace. Something I cannot often find when I'm at Hogwarts. I was reading my book, _Transfiguration for Dummies,_ when Courfeyrac literally punched the door opened and walked in. He was already in his Hufflepuff robes.

"Sup bruv!" He had said to me, in his heavy fake cockney accent. He spoke like that to make people think he was truly from England. But he and I and basically everyone one from the amis were all french transfer students. We all left France because we hated the Beauxbatons uniforms.

"Hi, Courf," I said in a depressed sounding voice. I said it in a depressed voice because I wanted to know how my book ended. But I closed the book and set it aside. "What's up?"

"Not much bruv, my dog died this morning but it's whatever because it's the first day back at Hogwarts!" Courf said, grinning.

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed, eyes wide. "How did your dog die?"

"Oh he had cancer but like...dog cancer. You know- cancer...for dogs?" He said, statistically.

"Oh, right," I said, nodding. "Cancer… for dogs. I know what you mean." I did not know what he meant.

"Anyway…" Courf said, sighing dramatically. "Have you seen Combeferre?" Grantaire looked around the near empty compartment and then back at Courfeyrac.

"Nope. I haven't seen him." I said, quirking an eyebrow, you know, because I am gay.

"Aw," Courf said, frowning at his feet. He looked up at me again and he opened his mouth to say something, but I will never know what he was going to say to me because, suddenly, the open door slid open. Jehan leaned dramatically against the door jam, draping one arm over their head and winking at Courf and I in a seductive manner.

"Soooooo," they said, "you two come here often?"

"Jehan you useless nonbinary, we've only gone to this school for 4 years." I said, rolling my steel grayish blue eyes.

Courf, on the other hand, winked back and replied, "Sure do."

Before any of us could say anything more, Bahorel came bursting into the compartment, out of breath. "Jehan I told you to wait for me!" He whined while also trying to catch his breath.

Jehan didn't answer, instead examining their nails which were painted baby blue with pink flowers.

"Nice manicure Jehan." I complimented them, and then turned to Bahorel. "You're all sweaty. Gross, dude. Why'd you run in here?" I asked, sounding pissed.

Bahorel mumbled something about being afraid of feeling left out and began to rifle through the bag hanging from his shoulder. "Shit. I lost my inhaler again."

"That sucks...sorry man." I said, trying to think of a spell that could help him summon his lost inhaler. I thought about that, because I genuinely care about my friends even though I'm emo.

Courf didn't appear to do any thinking at all. He reached into his pocket, pulled out his wand, and pointed it at the general area of Bahorel's lungs. " _Respiarare_!" he shouted before Bahorel had the chance to protest.

Bahorel sat there, blinking rapidly, looking like a confused deer in headlights. He drew in a steady breathe, and his mouth feel agape in surprise. "Thanks mang!" He said to Courf, a soft and delighted smile gracing his features.

I was about to scold Courf since he's literal shit at magic and he decided it was a good idea to experiment his skills on Bahorel's organs. Before I could though, the still open door slid open again and Combeferre entered, nose stuck in a book. He walked into Jehan because he wasn't paying attention to where he was going.

"Watch where you're reading!" Courf said, and although he was yelling, he seemed to have a happy smile on his face. Wow...what a hopeless gay.

Combeferre smiled when his gaze fell upon Courfeyrac. He crossed the tiny compartment and kissed him quite deeply. The kissed lasted a tad longer than a kiss should in a public setting. Bahorel and I said, "Ew." Jehan sighed and whispered romantically, "Ah, young love."

Once they parted from each other, Combeferre sheepishly smiled, and scratched the back of his head. "Hey everyone...how was your summers?"

I laughed as if Combeferre had said something very funny. Combeferre cocked his head to one side, like a confused puppy. He adjusted his glasses, which was a habit of his, and gave me a concerned look.

"Um...I'm guessing you didn't have a good summer then?" He said.

I laughed again.

Courf rolled his eyes. "Oh my god R, just fucking tell us what's up. You are so emo sometimes!"

"Excuse you!" I yelled. "I am not emo sometimes… I am emo _all the time._ So fuck you." Then I sighed a long, overly dramatic sigh. "It's just… my parents.. they are… you know."

"Conservative? Right wing? Anti-liberal? They hate Shrek?" Courf asked, before I could even give him a real answer.

"All of the above," I said. "But you forgot homophobic, racist, close-minded, ignorant, and they won't let us get a dog."

Courfeyrac gasped, pretending to collapse onto Combeferre. "How terrible!" He yelled out, squeakily.

Just then, the door slid open and Bossuet stumbled in, tripping and falling flat on his face. "Hi, guys," he greeted, his voice muffled by the floor.

"Hi Bossuet." We all greeted him, sounding as if we were attending an alcoholics anonymous meeting.

He slowly lifted himself from the floor and looked around at everyone in the compartment. He frowned and asked. "Why are you all standing? There's like… no room left… you know.. to stand."

"Oh well aren't you a genius." I said, rolling my eyes. "Thanks a lot Catherine Obvious." As I said this, everyone scrambled to their seats.

Everyone began to chatter idly and hardly noticed when Joly and Feuilly walked in side by side, probably because most people usually forget about them anyway. But they sat down and chatted with one another.

I, of course, had noticed them come in because I genuinely care about my friends. I didn't say anything though because I wanted to start reading my book again without interruption.

I picked up my book again, slowly opening it and praying that no one would interrupt me this time. Unfortunately, that bastard decided it was the perfect time to enter the compartment. His golden curls, usually wrapped in a messy bun atop his head, cascaded like a waterfall over his shoulders. His idiotic eyes looked extra bright that morning. He was already in his Hogwarts uniform sans, with his Slytherin tie hanging undone around his neck. His sweater and dress pants hugged his figure nicely and it made me _sick._ I felt something, a hot something, bubbling deep within me and I didn't know exactly what it was but I assumed it was HATRED.

I couldn't take my eyes off of him. It was always like this. Every time he entered the room, he took my breath away. I figured it was just the pure rage that seemed to bubble in my stomach. He was too perfect, too much for me. And everyone adored him. Everyone in our friend group absolutely loved him. It made me sick, like to the point of nearly vomiting.

"Bad news," said Enjolras. When he spoke, my skin felt… strange. His voice struck a nerve with me. Like my skin was trying to crawl off of my bones. "Neo and Aspen are on their way down the train."

"Ugh! Oh no! Somebody lock the compartment door!" Joly said, groaning. There was a chorus of sounds of disgust and "oh no"s coming from everyone else. I, myself, felt a headache brewing in the back of my brain at the mere mention of…. Neo and Aspen.

Neo Axel Tequila Crimson Holliday and Aspen Blaze Pearle Universe Starr were in the same year as all of us amis and, for some inexplicable reason, they were positively obsessed with us—especially me. Always wanting to know what I'm up to, where I'm going and when. In year one, when we were all sorted by the Sorting Hat, the Hat couldn't pick one house for either of them. Neo was in Gryffindor and Hufflepuff and Aspen was in Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, but they always seemed to be in the Gryffindor common room exclusively because _I_ was in the Gryffindor common room.

Aside from being infatuated with us, they were just plain annoying. They were loud, melodramatic, late to everything (except for every meal), they disobeyed school rules and the laws of physics, and worst of all….they were American and absolutely insufferable. They disrupted every single class they were in, they disrupted everyone's lives they forced themselves into, and disrupted every train of thought with their stupidity and abrasiveness. To say I hated them was an understatement...but they were fun sometimes...and I guess they were pretty nice to me. Especially when I was feeling emo, but that's besides the point. They're stupid.

Enjolras slid the door shut behind himself, checking to see if their was a locking mechanism that was all knew was not there. With a heavy sigh he squeezed himself in between Jehan and Bahorel. Just as Enjolras had himself seated, a foot clad in a dark red Doc Marten boot kicked through the door, sending shards of glass pouring over the small compartent's floor. The Doc Marten wearing foot was attached to Aspen who, after breaking the rest of the glass with her fist, appeared through the doorway. Neo followed closely behind her screaming, "WASSSUP, YOU HOES!"

Aspen Blaze Pearle Universe Starr stared at us all through eyes that were painted with dark eyeshadow. Her lashes were thick and unnatural and her black eyeliner was perfect. Her lipstick was the same shade as her boots. Atop her head was a hat that you might see a middle aged mother from the 50s wearing on an afternoon outing to the beach with her 7 kids — a red ribbon sprinkled with white polka-dots hung from the wicker hat. The hat covered most of her hair because her hair was so short. Her ears were pointed, though none of us knew why, and she had two earrings in each of them. She wore a white bodysuit, printed with plump red cherries, beneath a denim jacket and denim skirt (the jacket had ribbon that matched the one around her hat sewn into the sleeves while the skirt was designed with more delicious looking cherries). Her iPhone was sticking out of the pocket of her jacket and it was buzzing obnoxiously, but once she found me in the crowd nothing could distract her.

Neo Axel Tequila Crimson Holliday strutted to the center of the compartment and dipped down, popping back up, a crooked grin on his face. His eyelashes were covered in fresh mascara, and his eyelids were painted with soft baby pink eyeshadow. His brown eyes glittered in the light, mischief evident in the gloss of his pupils. His outfit consisted of mom jeans, the word juicy embroidered on the butt of them and a tie-dye crop top with the phrase "saucy boy" written across the chest. His flip-flops flip-flopped noisily with every step he took, and it made me cringe. What was even worse, perhaps, was the pair of weed socks he happened to be wearing with his stupid sandals. I felt sick just looking at him. He wore an atrocious holographic hat to cover his unruly brown hair. I immediately thought I might go blind from the multicolored monstrosity of a cap, that happened to shine even brighter under the sunlight that spilled into the compartment. As soon as Aspen's eyes had found me, so did his. And I knew… all hell was about to break loose.

"GRANTAIRE!" They both shouted, ear-piercingly loud. Immediately everyone winced at the sharp sound of their voices. I tried to hide behind Bossuet, but before I could, Neo had picked me up and scooped me into a group hug with him and Aspen. I wanted to scream. I wanted to literally die in that moment.

Aspen released me, but Neo continued to hold onto me tightly. Aspen turned to the rest of the amis and asked, "How were all of your summers?" Feuilly was the only one who seemed willing to speak to her, but when he opened his mouth to speak she shushed him. "I was really only asking Enjolras, honey bunches of oatmeal."

I watched, helplessly stuck in Neo's death grip, as Enjolras began to stammer out a confused response.

"Um...fine? I guess." He said, seemingly weirded out that Aspen had asked him of all people. _Ugh, what a prick!_ I thought.

"Oh, us too!" Neo said, _finally_ releasing me from what I would later come to call: The Worst Hug of My Life. "In fact, we had the best summer! Ever! Wanna know what we did?"

"Not really, but go off I guess." I said, brushing off Neo's germs from my clothing. I returned to my seat and picked up my poor, neglected book from where I had been sitting previously. I had decided that I was going to try and ignore those bumbling weeaboos and get through another chapter of my book.

"We… wait for it… drum roll…" Aspen said, grinning. "Come on, drum roll… Are you ready for this?" Together, her and Neo announced, "We got tattoos!"

"Isn't that… you know...illegal?" Joly said. Why did they have to keep talking so loud?

"Eh, a little," Aspen said, waving the notion away with her hand while Neo got really close to my face and asked with a sly smirk, "Do you want to see our tattoooos?"

"No." I said flatly, looking away from my book to shoot them a glare. "Can't you see some of us are trying to read in peace?"

Aspen snickered. Neo looked up at her and snickered as well.

I sighed quite heavily again, about to ask them what they thought was so funny, but before I could speak, Enjolras intervened.

"Seriously guys, can't you just be serious for once in your life? Can't you just be silent for one moment. I have a speech I need to write for a rally in hogsmeade and I can't focus with all your tomfoolery." He said, with a steely glance. I felt my heart skip a beat, but I wasn't sure why.

Fortunately for us amis, a voice rang out through the Hogwarts Express alerting us all that we would soon be arriving at Hogwarts so if we were not already in our school uniforms then we should change soon and swiftly so. Neo and Aspen exchanged panicked glances, muttering to one another that they may not have enough time to perfect their appearance in their uniforms. "We need to hurry," they agreed aloud. And so, at long last, they bid us farewell and they were off.

I thanked all that was holy that they were gone, and quickly pulled my gryffindor robes over my casual clothes— skinny jeans and a paint splattered shirt. I tried tying my own tie, but I was always shit at tying things, so I gave up immediately. The others also began to pull on their robes, all except for Enjolras who simply had to tie his tie. This pissed me off royally, he could tie things and I fucking couldn't do a damn thing.

We all piled out of the compartment, stumbling down the corridor toward the exit with the rest of the student body. I kept an eye out, constantly glancing over my shoulder nervously. There was no sign of Aspen and Neo coming to bombard me with more questions and ridiculousness, but I noticed that I was beginning to twitch like I usually did when school began each year, when I had to deal with those horrible imbeciles on a daily basis.

Even though I hated my parents for their cruelty, I enjoyed my summers a lot more than I enjoyed the school year. I didn't have to deal with those ingrates, and during the summer I could at least escape from the hell that was my house. I couldn't escape Hogwarts, not without being caught. Realizing this made me twitch even more. Fuck, I did not want to be sober in that moment.

We burst into the cool, night air. I inhaled deeply, eyes closed, relying on the group around me to keep me moving without walking into anything. I reopened them to find, with shock, that Enjolras was the one walking at my side. He looked at me and I looked back at him, prepared for an intense glare-off. Instead, Enjolras smiled at me. Well, that was a bit of an exaggeration. Actually, he turned one corner of his mouth northward for a second, but it was enough to set me off. _How dare he?_ I thought to myself with a scoff. I was so focused on the audacity of Enjolras' actions that I forgot to look where I was going and found myself tripping and plummeting toward the dirt beneath my feet. Before I could hit the ground, though, I felt a pair of strong arms encircle me.

"Hey are you alright?" Enjolras said, helping me stand upright and stable. His eyebrows were knit together in a concerned glance, and his sky blue eyes seemed to be scanning my own, as if he could peer into my soul and see all of my problems, all of my concerns. I felt my heart begin to pound, and my breath get caught in the back of my throat. I couldn't bring myself to say anything, nor could I find the capability to properly express words. My voice just… wouldn't work. Something was clearly wrong with me. I thought I might be ill….very very very ill.

"U-umm," I stammered when I found my voice at last. "Y-yeah," I said, squirming out of his grip. "Yeah, I'm just dandy. I only tripped, no need to invade my personal fucking space. Aren't you all about consent before you touch someone? Like at all? Ever? God, dude! Get away from me!"

Enjolras quickly removed his hands from my arms, where he had caught me. He winced as I spoke. "Shit, I-I'm sorry." He stammered out, looking both apologetic and hurt. He looked rather...vulnerable in that moment. It was a strange sight to see, usually he seemed to be so calculated and level-headed.

I frowned, feeling regretful about what I said. Generally, I didn't regret anything that I said to Enjolras. I would yell at him, he would yell at me. He would tell me how I didn't care about the earth and her inhabitants, I would tell him that what I didn't care about was actually his stupid face. It was a steady dynamic we had going, one that we had had for a couple years now… Before we began to bicker all the time, before we began to fight and hate each other's guts, well… Well, that was a different story. But when we were eleven, when we were twelve, when we were just barely thirteen everything was different because we were fools. Looking at him then, as he was shaking slightly and looking so _sorry,_ I saw a piece of a younger him in his eyes. I wanted to wipe that pathetically sad look right off his face and it made me wonder… I wondered why. Why I cared. Did I care? Was this what _caring_ about _Enjolras_ was like? God, I hoped not. Caring about Enjolras was the absolute last thing I needed in my life. I had enough on my plate as it was. Caring about Enjolras was in my past, just like our friendship.

And yet, here I was, feeling this familiar ache in my heart, feeling the need to comfort him, the need to apologize. I hated him. I _hated_ him… or maybe… maybe I didn't _hate_ him. Maybe I just _hated_ how I _still_ _felt_ about him deep in my heart. No matter how much I tried to convince myself, no matter how much I told myself I'd be better off without him, I couldn't ever truly bring myself to be away from him. He brought a light to the world, a sickeningly sweet light that was so gentle, and yet so ardent. I...needed that light, craved that light. I was so full of darkness, so akin to the cold and lonely atmosphere of lurking in the shadows. When I was with him, I could forget for a moment. Feel warmth and love, and feel what being passionate about life truly felt like. When the arguing started, when I convinced myself I hated him, I exiled myself. I did not deserve light. He did not deserve darkness. They say opposites attract… but we repelled one another. We could not have been more different, and I could not have been more hopeless. And now there I was, "hating" the boy I used to be so close with. There I was, so full of bitterness and despair. And there he was, his feelings unknown but his eyes so full of emotion.

That's quite a lot to realize in the span of a few seconds. To know now that this person who I hate, well… To know that I don't actually hate him. The only thing I hated was what he _did_ to me. All that I hated was that he looked at me one day and took me within his light — he _burned_ my eyes with that light. He held me in that warmth of his and then, with soft hands, with delicate fingers, he tore open my chest. He sunk fingernails into the tough muscle of my heart and he pulled it, pumping and bleeding, from within. He held that heart of mine between us. His was still safe and sound, his rib cage still acting as a barrier to protect it, but mine was in his hand and there was a gaping hole in my chest and he just smiled. Enjolras just smiled and tossed my heart to the side. He just smiled and cast me out of his warm light, back into the black and the cold of my world. It was quite a lot to realize, in a matter of moments, that I didn't hate him at all. I just knew that if I pushed him away, if I could convince myself to cut him out of my life, that would hurt a hell of a lot less than if I opened myself up and brought my walls down and got rejected in the process. It made sense, I told myself. One with a wound in their chest does not walk around with the ease that one with no wound does.

I needed to be on my own. Needed to be away from him and everything he stood for, because I was not one of those things. I was not someone he would defend. I was not Courfeyrac, or Combeferre or Feuilly- or even Marius fucking Pontmercy. I was not his friend, not a true "amis". I was just a meaningless shadow, nothing but a fading silhouette that clung to a friend group they didn't truly fit into. I was one of the joker cards, cast out because the king was more important. More games revolved around the king than the joker, after all. More people revolved around Enjolras than they did with me. Everyone worships the sun, nobody worships the darkness, except...maybe some body—no, two bodies worshipped the darkness, and I hated them for it. Funny how I hated the people that cared about me, and loved the ones that didn't.

I was walking. I didn't remember, and still can't remember, going from staring at Enjolras, and Enjolras staring at me, to walking up to the castle. But I did, and I was, and soon Enjolras and I parted ways as we always did. He went to one side of the Great Hall, and I went to the other. This was us; opposites on separate sides of the world.

"Good." I thought to myself. This was how it was supposed to be, how it was meant to be. The fact that I was in Gryffindor and he, in Slytherin, only went on to show just how different we were. Just how much we were supposed to hate each other and how we were meant to be enemies, always. Rivals.

"WHAT'S THE HAPS, BITCHESSSS?!" Dumbledore's voice boomed across the Great Hall. All of us, the students, took our seats and turned our attention to our rather peculiar headmaster. "Alright, sit the fuck down and listen the fuck up. I got some announcements to make, 'kay?" He adjusted his half moon spectacles that sat on his crooked nose. "Okay, first thing's first. Your teacher last year was actually a Death Eater, we all been knew, so here's what's up! The Minister of Magic has sent this lady over here —" he pointed to probably the ugliest looking creature I had ever seen, even uglier than Neo and Aspen. "— this is Professor Rumbridge and — wh-what?" he turned away from all of us because our new professor seemed to be telling him something. He turned back to us. "Professor _Umbridge_ — well, excuse me! — will be teaching you Defense Against the Dark Arts so there's that. Also our Muggle Studies professor has quit, so we got this guy Professor Valjean who'll be teaching that now. Mostly because he's the only one who applied." Dumbledore paused to point at Professor Valjean and I frowned — that was _Jean_ Valjean, Enjolras' dad. "Right and it has also come to my attention that Severus Snape is sort of… like… not the best teacher? I've been told that he… like… bullies the students? And that he's unfair and favors his own students over others? And that he's caused actual psychological and emotional damage to some students? I'm not gonna fire him, though, I just got him a co-teacher. So this here is Professor Javert." The headmaster pointed to a man that, though I thought it was impossible, looked even angrier than Snape did. "Well, anyway, on to our final order of business before the Sorting can begin. As you all know, last year we held a Triwizard Tournament. Now, _unfortunately,_ that was _ruined_ by _someone dying!_ " Dumbledore coughed and muttered something beneath his breath that rhymed with 'Redric Higglory' causing a sixth year girl at the Ravenclaw table to burst into tears and run out of the room. "So we've decided to hold _another_ Tournament this year! WOOHOO! So Beauxbatons and Durmstrang will be arriving in a couple weeks and then we'll start taking names and then we're going to announce the champions! No one from Hufflepuff can be the Champion though because _someone_ —" he coughed and again said something that sounded a hell of a lot like 'Cedric Diggory'. "Well, anyway. That's it. I'm gonna go to my room, listen to MCR, and smoke some pot. Dumbledore out. Peace!"

"Wow...quite the Opening Ceremony, don't you think?" Eponine said from her place next to me. I nodded, not quite sure what to say. Next was the Sorting Hat Ceremony, which literally takes too fucking long. I sighed, a bit impatiently. I just wanted to be back in the safety of the Gryffindor common room. I just wanted this fucking day to be over.

The only good thing about the Sorting Ceremony was that this year was Eponine's little brother's first year at Hogwarts. Eponine had her fingers crossed beneath the table and I watched her, her eyes squeezed shut, praying her baby brother would be in the same house as her so she could keep on eye on him like she did at home. I watched her and I smiled. I might not have been Enjolras' friend, and all of the amis may have liked Enjolras a whole lot more than they liked me, but I had Eponine. _She_ was my best friend. _She_ was there for me through thick and thin, and I for her. Who needed stupid Enjolras?

Not me. I did _not_ need him and I certainly did not need his friends. I had Eponine, and as much as I hated to say it, I had stupid Aspen and Neo. Enjolras and the amis could play their games, could laugh and have fun without me. Hell, they probably wouldn't have even missed me if I stopped hanging around them, and that was fine by me. I wasn't going to cling to them anymore. I was going to finally free myself from whatever bonds held me to that group. Would I miss them? Probably. But I had figured I was better off in the long run.

I was torn from my thoughts when Eponine spoke to me. "Hey, Grantaire?" she said. "Do you think, you know… since there's going to be another Tournament. Um. Do you — do you think think there's going to be another Yule Ball?" Her eyebrows were knitted closely together, her forehead creased. She was looking across the hall and I followed her gaze to the Hufflepuff table; I followed her gaze to Marius fucking Pontmercy.

"Probably." I mumbled, wondering if I should tell her Marius was too much of a fuck to realize just how much Eponine loved him, and just how much of an amazing person Eponine was. Eponine deserved better than him. Way better than Marius fucking Pontmercy.

"Oh, oh!" Eponine said, hitting my shoulder and pointing toward the group of first years that were huddled tightly together. "There he goes, there he goes!" she exclaimed and, sure enough, it was Gavroche's turn to be Sorted. Most of the first years stumble up toward the Hat, some would trip and fall, but Gavroche was graceful as ever and he skipped up to the stool. He plopped down and grinned as McGonagall dropped the hat onto his head.

He had only been on the chair for roughly a second before the Sorting Hat had called out "GRYFFINDOR". Eponine jumped up from her seat and began to cheer for her sibling, and I followed her lead, yelling out "YEAH GAVROCHE!"

The boy in question was grinning. He leapt from the chair as the Sorting Hat was plucked from his head. I watched as he made his way towards us, tackling his sister into a hug. Eponine laughed and caught her brother, messing up his hair. I felt myself grin.

Our meal was delicious as always, and after we were done we headed up to our dormitory. Eponine and I were deep in conversation on the way up the many staircases it took to get to the Gryffindor common room, and Gavroche rode piggy back style on my back, falling asleep on my shoulder.

Eponine moved to the front of the group, along with Bahorel, since the two of them were prefects. Hermione Granger stood, arms crossed, looking obviously pissed that _she_ was not made a prefect, while Eponine and Bahorel announced that the new password was, "Oxlips".

The painting swung open, revealing the Gryffindor common room. There was a fire already burning away in the fireplace, which lit the room in a warm glow. Everything was peaceful for the most part, but I could hear the sounds of two very annoying voices approaching as they whooped and hollered.

"Oh. My. God." I said, my eyes fluttering and as they slowly rolled up into the back of my head. Eponine looked at my, looking confused and a tad concerned, as she took Gavroche from my back and into her arms, but before she could ask what was wrong Neo and Aspen appeared from with in the crowd. They were in their uniforms now.

Neo's hair was looking impossibly messier than it had on the train. His shirt was only half tucked in, and his robes were nowhere to be seen. Instead of his uniform's dress trousers, he wore shiny, skin tight booty shirts that read ' _ **JUICY**_ ' in big letters across his ass. He still wore his sandals with socks. The part that pissed me off the most about his ensemble, though, was how impeccably his tie was tied when I couldn't tie mine at all (it also pissed me off that it was half Gryffindor's colors and half Hufflepuff's). Aspen, on the other hand, _did_ have her robes and _did not_ have her tie tied and instead of a normal fucking tie she wore a _rainbow bowtie_ hanging around her neck. Her shirt was entirely untucked, her skirt was shredded, and she wore striped leggings that were tucked into her Doc Martens (it was a new pair of Doc Martens, these were black). On her robes, she had a cherry pin

I rolled my eyes hard, and tried to turn away from them, as if I had not noticed them coming towards me. They were laughing quite obnoxiously about something having to do with yams. I fucking hated yams. I fucking hated them and just wished they could leave me alone for a single night.

Neo and Aspen harmonized as they sang out my name in unison. They came running toward me, arms open wide, ready to hug me, but they were interrupted by Seamus Finnigan shouting across the common room, " _You're a bloody fucking liar, Potter!_ "

"YA FUCKING MUM KID. YA FUCKING MUM." Harry shouted back, and I watched as Neo and Aspen dropped their outstretched arms, and turned to watch the fight unfold.

"Dude, let's go!" Neo said, grinning sadistically.

"Oh, hells yes, you know we are!" Aspen grinned back at her best friend.

I was about to tell them that no, this was a very bad idea and that they shouldn't get involved in other people's business, but then I had a sudden and very happy thought, _Maybe they'll get in a fist fight and die._

I watched as Neo and Aspen raced across the common room toward the fight, both of them yelling obscenities at Seamus and Harry. There was a series of "Ya mums" and "Fuck off mates" and whatever shit that came spewing from Neo and Aspen's mouths on a daily basis. I wanted to scream. This was so fucking extra.

I rolled my eyes harder than I ever had before, and that was saying something. "I'm gonna put Gavroche to bed and then I'm going to sleep. I've had enough of their bullshit for one day." I smiled at her, said goodnight, and waded through the fight to get to the staircase that led to the boys' dormitories. I stopped at the first years room, dropping off Gavroche in the bed that had his trunk at the foot of it, then continued on down to the fifth years dormitory. I began changing into pajamas when, not five minutes later, Neo entered the room.

"Sup, my second most favorite human in the world. How was your day?" He asked me, seeming much more chill without the presence of Aspen around. It was like they fed off each others' malicious energy.

I sucked in a deep breath and sighed a long and heavy sigh. I turned away from him as I was pulling on my pajama shirt. "I'll be honest with you, Neo. I'm having a pretty rough day. I'm stressed, I'm tired, I'm ready for the Christmas holiday and classes haven't even started yet. I don't even know know why I'm telling you all this but, like… ugh. My life is just falling apart right now, you know? It all feels like such a mess."

"Yeah man, I get that...wholeheartedly. I might not completely understand what you're going through, but I want you to know I'm here for you, regardless. The world is a cruel place, but it gets better when you surround yourself with not-so-cruel people. I used to think life wasn't worth living, but then I met Aspen and figured that— fuck yeah this is absolute hell but one person out of 7 billion people makes the world a little less insufferable." He said as he, too, began pulling on pajamas.

I nodded slowly. Because yeah, that all made perfect sense. I began to turn, about to smile at Neo Axel Tequila Crimson Holliday for the first time ever, but before I could my jaw dropped because Neo had exposed his bare ass to me and he was pointing to a bomb that was tattooed there. "See?!" He exclaimed. "Isn't it a nice tattoo?!"


End file.
